oh, oh, I lost my focus*

I'm still not back in the studio--and I am planning to show/sell at the guild's annual show in October. Originally I had decided not to commit to the show because of the expected move sometime in the fall. Then, when it looked like we would not be moving before Christmas, I changed my mind and signed up to participate with my own booth. Now, SUDDENLY, it looks like we will be moving late October or early November. We will certainly be packing and overseeing the needed changes at the new house by then. And here am I not yet busy at work in the studio. Tomorrow Jim leaves for Austin for a couple of days--should be my chance to focus on my pottery. But he is busy leaving me with long lists of estimates to get from various companies for the work that will be needed on the new house. It is not a new house, it is 42 years old. So it is in need of some up-dating and repairing though it is in good shape for its years. As I write this I am reminded of Ron Philbeck's home that is in the 100's of years old if I remember correctly.There is such a lot to do and suddenly there is so little time to do it in.

I am torn between being excited about the new possibilities--especially planning a 'real' studio in the garage--and dealing with a deep sense of loss. We love our home and it has our whole life-together history in it. The move was not our own initiation--extenuating circumstances forced it--so there is a lot of regret entailed. However, I am trying to focus on what we gain in making this move and convert the regret to happy memories. Not easy!

No single picture does credit to our wonderful home--but you get the idea! We will be leaving the deer wandering through our yard, eating the shrubs, gardening attempts and flowers, and the raccoons dancing on the roof over our bed at night. We've complained about that--but we will miss it all! We built our home in 1979--we moved in 10 days before our son Ben was born. I thought I would be buried in the back yard...

One of the great pluses will be that my son, Kenny, will live with us and work with me in the studio. The studio will house a potter and a painter! Kenny is 46 and has been painting for maybe 15 or 20 years. He is cerebral palsied and it is incredible what he has accomplished in spite of his handicaps. He has been living independently for many years but his physical condition is deteriorating and I believe that he needs closer supervision than he has at this time. It will be great getting to share the enthusiasms of our art with each other. I am so happy that we can make this change now and so grateful to Jim for being as enthusiastic about the project as I am. Lots to look forward to--but in the meantime I am having trouble focusing on my pottery!

*This sparked by Robert Genn's newsletter this week.